Dinner and a Show

Dear Nutbars of Bridal World:

I am not going to your "dinner bridal show."

It's over. You can't win me back. No matter how many spammy emails you send me begging over and over, we're not getting back together. Once I liked you pretty well, but you have sent me six emails this week alone begging me to go to this "dinner bridal show." Pro tip: One more email probably qualifies as stalking.

Look, I like bridal shows, as silly as they are. I haven't gone to one yet where I didn't come away with a deal or an idea worth saving. My fiance even likes the bridal shows, in defiance of gender stereotypes and the laws of physics. But we are still not going to your "dinner bridal show."

Want to know why?

Twenty dollars per person, that's why.

I find it beyond offensive that you want us to pay money for the privilege of listening to your sales pitch. I have seen your reception hall, and it is lovely. I have attended events there, and the food is tasty. If we could afford your outlandish prices, you'd be in the top ten choices for our reception.

But we are inundated with ads and sales pitches for our wedding, and none are more insistent than the reception venues. Everywhere we turn, someone wants us to give them our money, even when they find out how laughably small the budget will be. We don't need to pay for the privilege of a hard sell; all it took was signing up on The Knot and attending one (free) bridal show, and our email, phone and address is on everyone's list. Hell, after this shindig is over I'm probably going to have to burn that email address.

Twenty dollars a head? Here's a news flash for you, Nutbars of Bridal World: If my fiance and I intend to blow forty bucks on a dinner, it would be a nice steakhouse with soft lighting and cloth napkins. Sure, you'll put on a nice spread, and I bet we'd have a good time watching you try to sell us on your reception hall.

But in the end, we'd be paying you for the privilege of listening to your pitch. Maybe that makes sense in the weird and wacky Bridal World, but I have sufficient self-respect not to fall for it.

Enjoy your shindig. Call me when the pitch is free.