Oh man! What happened to the time! Only 137 days to go to the wedding! What happened to the time? It feels like yesterday that I tripped on my heart and proposed to Elizabeth in front of the castle. Now here it is, 137 days until the wedding. Oh geez! We still have so much to do! So much that has to be done. But here we are, 137 days and counting. Well...I'm looking forward to the neck breaking speed that we are going to have to go through to make sure everything is ready for the big day that I take Elizabeth's hand in mine and have the honor to call her my wife.
A lot has happened since the last time I posted. The main thing that is happening in my life is that I'm going to be a grandfather soon and I'm also going to be a student again when I start going to college this fall. I'm looking forward to both of those things happening to me. But I'm still looking forward to being Elizabeth's husband so much. We have a lot to do in the next few months to be ready. But I know we can do it. But wow...137 days and counting. Time is going by so fast! Soon...I'll be in my tux trying my best to hold back my tears of love and happiness when I see Elizabeth walking down the aisle toward me. Get ready! Alot to do in the near future! GO!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
172 days
I have no idea how we have been engaged for nearly two years, postponed twice and still can be behind schedule in planning this thing. The money is raised; it sits in an account, waiting for us to get a move on and give it to people.
Granted, little things like an impending grandchild, daughter's wedding, graduation, intermittent book tours, Jimmy's college application and release of two new books kind of distract us. As I told my father, priorities need to be observed. Our marriage is important; the wedding is not the marriage. Cost and crazy are managed. Lots of things get in the way, and sometimes there is irony. How funny is it to take a bit of cash from your own wedding fund for your daughter's wedding?
But just in case I was settling into some Zen about this thing, and everything's in perspective, I've got The Knot to send me a hysterical email.
ME: 172 DAYS.
JIMMY: Till the wedding?
ME: Yup.
JIMMY: Ohhhh.
ME: We will never be ready in time, we should...
JIMMY: NOOOOOOOOOOPPPOOOOOOOOOOOPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOERRRRRRR
JIMMY: NO
JIMMY: no
JIMMY: No
ME: We could probably get our deposits extended...
JIMMY: No. No. No.
ME: You're sure?
JIMMY: OHHHHH
ME: You're so much fun to torment.
JIMMY: NOOOOOOOOOOPPPOOOOOOOOOOOPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOERRRRRRR
ME: What does that even mean?
JIMMY: No. Times a gillion.
ME: If that is your final word on the matter...
JIMMY: Yes.
ME: Well, okay then. Meet you at the church, Nov. 8.
JIMMY: Good.
ME: Unless you come to your senses.
JIMMY: Hush.
Granted, little things like an impending grandchild, daughter's wedding, graduation, intermittent book tours, Jimmy's college application and release of two new books kind of distract us. As I told my father, priorities need to be observed. Our marriage is important; the wedding is not the marriage. Cost and crazy are managed. Lots of things get in the way, and sometimes there is irony. How funny is it to take a bit of cash from your own wedding fund for your daughter's wedding?
But just in case I was settling into some Zen about this thing, and everything's in perspective, I've got The Knot to send me a hysterical email.
ME: 172 DAYS.
JIMMY: Till the wedding?
ME: Yup.
JIMMY: Ohhhh.
ME: We will never be ready in time, we should...
JIMMY: NOOOOOOOOOOPPPOOOOOOOOOOOPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOERRRRRRR
JIMMY: NO
JIMMY: no
JIMMY: No
ME: We could probably get our deposits extended...
JIMMY: No. No. No.
ME: You're sure?
JIMMY: OHHHHH
ME: You're so much fun to torment.
JIMMY: NOOOOOOOOOOPPPOOOOOOOOOOOPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOERRRRRRR
ME: What does that even mean?
JIMMY: No. Times a gillion.
ME: If that is your final word on the matter...
JIMMY: Yes.
ME: Well, okay then. Meet you at the church, Nov. 8.
JIMMY: Good.
ME: Unless you come to your senses.
JIMMY: Hush.
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Wedding Show Sitcom
ME: Dangit.
HIM: What?
ME: They've changed the Sunday shift to start earlier. My next Sunday shift is April 27. That's the Off-White Wedding Show.
HIM: What time?
ME: The show is 10:30 to 3 p.m. My shift will be 11 to 7. On the old shift, we could have gone before I have to work.
HIM: *pout*
ME: You can go without me.
HIM: It's no fun without you.
ME: I had to go to one alone... You're right. It was no fun. But we need the discounts.
HIM: I guess we have to miss it.
ME: It's the one with all the independent, sole entrepreneur vendors! The funky indie one... I could send you with Katie.
HIM: No.
ME: Why not?
HIM: That's the start of a bad wedding comedy.
ME: I think it's hilarious.
HIM: NO.
ME: Come on!
HIM: I don't wanna die!
ME: What?? How do you get killed going to a wedding show with Katie?
HIM: She has knitting needles. She's scary.
ME: My bridesmaid is not scary! Okay, she's a little scary. But she's not going to kill you!
HIM: No.
Of course, now I have this hilarious plotline started in my head...
HIM: What?
ME: They've changed the Sunday shift to start earlier. My next Sunday shift is April 27. That's the Off-White Wedding Show.
HIM: What time?
ME: The show is 10:30 to 3 p.m. My shift will be 11 to 7. On the old shift, we could have gone before I have to work.
HIM: *pout*
ME: You can go without me.
HIM: It's no fun without you.
ME: I had to go to one alone... You're right. It was no fun. But we need the discounts.
HIM: I guess we have to miss it.
ME: It's the one with all the independent, sole entrepreneur vendors! The funky indie one... I could send you with Katie.
HIM: No.
ME: Why not?
HIM: That's the start of a bad wedding comedy.
ME: I think it's hilarious.
HIM: NO.
ME: Come on!
HIM: I don't wanna die!
ME: What?? How do you get killed going to a wedding show with Katie?
HIM: She has knitting needles. She's scary.
ME: My bridesmaid is not scary! Okay, she's a little scary. But she's not going to kill you!
HIM: No.
Of course, now I have this hilarious plotline started in my head...
Monday, March 10, 2014
More than a circle of metal...or always listen to your fiancee!
Finally! After months of searching and trying on several different styles of rings, we at last have The One Ring. Sorry... got a little Lord of the Rings geekiness out. But to be serious, it has been a long search to find a ring that would go well with Elizabeth's beautiful blue sapphire engagement ring. With it being so different and unique, most rings just did not go with it. The engagement ring would either overshadow the plain simple white gold bands we looked at or it would get overshadowed and swallowed by the big, clunky contoured bands we tried to match with it.
We even tried to look into getting a band of white gold made to match the ring. That way it would not have diamonds on it so as not to take away from the beauty of her engagement ring. But WOW! The price to get a custom-made ring without diamonds would be $600 to $700 dollars! A ring just made of white gold would cost more than one with diamonds? We were both sticker-shocked at the quotes we were given.
It was getting to the point that Elizabeth was thinking about not wearing a wedding band and just having her engagement ring blessed when we get married, doubling as her wedding ring. I did not like that idea at all. When she asked me why I didn't like it, I told her it was because of tradition and that she needed the wedding band. She giggled and we kept searching for the perfect ring for her.
We finally found it. A beautiful, delicate ring that was designed to look like it was a continuous infinity symbol made of white gold and very small diamonds. It matched her ring perfectly and the two rings actually complement each other. We checked the price for it and it wasn't that bad ether. We found it at Jared's, and since we got the engagement ring and my ring from them, we thought it would only be fitting to get her wedding band from them also. We debated about how we could pay for it, since this was an extra expense when our budget is already starting to feel the strain.
Believe it or not, it's because I was lucky enough to have my car blow up.
I know what you are thinking. 'How can your car blowing its motorhead be a lucky thing?' Simple, really. Without the car, my money is not going to gas and car insurance, just a bus pass. So it is now free to go to this special ring that we found. We were discussing our options on how to pay for it. I really wanted to go with Jared because they have treated us so wonderfully, and the lady who had sold us Elizabeth's engagement ring had gone out of her way to help us get the ring.
But then a little dilemma came up. We checked out a jewelry store in the Galleria before we had lunch. They had the same ring! And it was $100 dollars cheaper than Jared's asking price. As much as we loved Jared, that was a big price difference that we really couldn't ignore. We went to eat lunch and tried to decide which place to go to get the ring. We loved the price difference, but we love all the good customer service that Jared has provided for us. We had no idea how well this other place was going to treat us or to take care of the ring on their warranty.
Elizabeth suggested once again that she just use her engagement ring as her wedding ring. I told her that would not be right. She asked me, putting tradition aside, why it was so important that she have a wedding band.
I thought about it for a minute trying to find the right words. I told her that the wedding band is not just a circle of metal. It is blessed by our priest beside my wedding band, forming a spiritual bond between the rings and between us. It will not only join the rings together in love, but also our souls, and make it a promise that this time, we will make this work. She asked, "Why wouldn't it be the same with the engagement ring?"
I said that it is because the engagement ring is a representation of my love for her and the desire for me to marry her. The wedding band is the actual bond between us, with her ring and mine touched and blessed by a priest. She smiled and said that I was adorable.
We decided to go to Jared and tell them that we found the ring they carried at a cheaper price at the competition, in hopes that we could keep our business with them. As luck or fate would have it, the woman who sold us Elizabeth's engagement ring now works at the Jared store over on our side of the river. We went there today and we found the ring that we wanted.
Elizabeth told her that we had found this same ring cheaper at another store, and asked if there was any way they could match their price. Jared Lady told us she would talk to her manager about it. She went away and Elizabeth told me to go look at the shinies. That lasted until Jared Lady came back and said that would be no problem at all.
I was overjoyed and it showed on my face. Elizabeth informs me that I am not allowed to ever play poker because I have no game face at all. I made my first down payment on this beautiful ring and left the store.
As we drove home, I told her that I was surprised that they agreed to lower the price of the ring. She smiled and said I should always listen to what my woman says. I laughed, and said that she was right. She asked for me to repeat that. I gladly did. Elizabeth is always right... and I have no shame in saying that. ;)
We even tried to look into getting a band of white gold made to match the ring. That way it would not have diamonds on it so as not to take away from the beauty of her engagement ring. But WOW! The price to get a custom-made ring without diamonds would be $600 to $700 dollars! A ring just made of white gold would cost more than one with diamonds? We were both sticker-shocked at the quotes we were given.
It was getting to the point that Elizabeth was thinking about not wearing a wedding band and just having her engagement ring blessed when we get married, doubling as her wedding ring. I did not like that idea at all. When she asked me why I didn't like it, I told her it was because of tradition and that she needed the wedding band. She giggled and we kept searching for the perfect ring for her.
We finally found it. A beautiful, delicate ring that was designed to look like it was a continuous infinity symbol made of white gold and very small diamonds. It matched her ring perfectly and the two rings actually complement each other. We checked the price for it and it wasn't that bad ether. We found it at Jared's, and since we got the engagement ring and my ring from them, we thought it would only be fitting to get her wedding band from them also. We debated about how we could pay for it, since this was an extra expense when our budget is already starting to feel the strain.
Believe it or not, it's because I was lucky enough to have my car blow up.
I know what you are thinking. 'How can your car blowing its motorhead be a lucky thing?' Simple, really. Without the car, my money is not going to gas and car insurance, just a bus pass. So it is now free to go to this special ring that we found. We were discussing our options on how to pay for it. I really wanted to go with Jared because they have treated us so wonderfully, and the lady who had sold us Elizabeth's engagement ring had gone out of her way to help us get the ring.
But then a little dilemma came up. We checked out a jewelry store in the Galleria before we had lunch. They had the same ring! And it was $100 dollars cheaper than Jared's asking price. As much as we loved Jared, that was a big price difference that we really couldn't ignore. We went to eat lunch and tried to decide which place to go to get the ring. We loved the price difference, but we love all the good customer service that Jared has provided for us. We had no idea how well this other place was going to treat us or to take care of the ring on their warranty.
Elizabeth suggested once again that she just use her engagement ring as her wedding ring. I told her that would not be right. She asked me, putting tradition aside, why it was so important that she have a wedding band.
I thought about it for a minute trying to find the right words. I told her that the wedding band is not just a circle of metal. It is blessed by our priest beside my wedding band, forming a spiritual bond between the rings and between us. It will not only join the rings together in love, but also our souls, and make it a promise that this time, we will make this work. She asked, "Why wouldn't it be the same with the engagement ring?"
I said that it is because the engagement ring is a representation of my love for her and the desire for me to marry her. The wedding band is the actual bond between us, with her ring and mine touched and blessed by a priest. She smiled and said that I was adorable.
We decided to go to Jared and tell them that we found the ring they carried at a cheaper price at the competition, in hopes that we could keep our business with them. As luck or fate would have it, the woman who sold us Elizabeth's engagement ring now works at the Jared store over on our side of the river. We went there today and we found the ring that we wanted.
Elizabeth told her that we had found this same ring cheaper at another store, and asked if there was any way they could match their price. Jared Lady told us she would talk to her manager about it. She went away and Elizabeth told me to go look at the shinies. That lasted until Jared Lady came back and said that would be no problem at all.
I was overjoyed and it showed on my face. Elizabeth informs me that I am not allowed to ever play poker because I have no game face at all. I made my first down payment on this beautiful ring and left the store.
As we drove home, I told her that I was surprised that they agreed to lower the price of the ring. She smiled and said I should always listen to what my woman says. I laughed, and said that she was right. She asked for me to repeat that. I gladly did. Elizabeth is always right... and I have no shame in saying that. ;)
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Swag
We've just returned from a bridal event. Hush, three of the vendors we needed to talk to were there, so it was convenient. We conferred with one of our potential florists, rental company and caterer, plus we met a new cake vendor. Jimmy personally devoured half her samples, I swear.
When we got home, I sorted through the swag bag and found a pair of pink panties, tied in curling ribbon. I pulled them out and unfurled them. Courtesy of the Dillard's lingerie department, at which I have never shopped because literally nothing is in my size. Including these tiny pink panties they put in the swag bag. Now, there may have been a time when I could have worn this scrap of fabric, but it definitely was before graduating from school and bearing a child.
"Look at this," I said, showing them to Jimmy. "One size fits all my ass. Literally."
Jimmy took the panties from me and held them up. "Yeah, that's ridiculous."
Of course, Ian chose that moment to walk into the dining room. And saw me and Jimmy sitting at the table. With Jimmy holding women's lingerie up in the air.
Ian stopped in the doorway, staring. Jimmy turned to him, still holding the panties up in the air. "Um," Jimmy said. "It... it came with the stuff. From the show."
I was no help at all, since I was laughing my ass off.
Without missing a beat, Ian said, "Jimmy, if you're not too busy..."
Jimmy gratefully escaped outside to toss the Frisbee around with the boy. I still haven't stopped laughing.
When we got home, I sorted through the swag bag and found a pair of pink panties, tied in curling ribbon. I pulled them out and unfurled them. Courtesy of the Dillard's lingerie department, at which I have never shopped because literally nothing is in my size. Including these tiny pink panties they put in the swag bag. Now, there may have been a time when I could have worn this scrap of fabric, but it definitely was before graduating from school and bearing a child.
"Look at this," I said, showing them to Jimmy. "One size fits all my ass. Literally."
Jimmy took the panties from me and held them up. "Yeah, that's ridiculous."
Of course, Ian chose that moment to walk into the dining room. And saw me and Jimmy sitting at the table. With Jimmy holding women's lingerie up in the air.
Ian stopped in the doorway, staring. Jimmy turned to him, still holding the panties up in the air. "Um," Jimmy said. "It... it came with the stuff. From the show."
I was no help at all, since I was laughing my ass off.
Without missing a beat, Ian said, "Jimmy, if you're not too busy..."
Jimmy gratefully escaped outside to toss the Frisbee around with the boy. I still haven't stopped laughing.
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
By God or Godzilla...
Alas...poor Ronin...I knew you well.
My car died this past Friday. And when I say it died...I MEAN IT DIED A BITTER SMOKING DEATH! It was almost beautiful in a silly way how white smoke started to blow out the tail pipe then from under the hood. It happened on the way to St. Louis when I was following Elizabeth to help her do a set up for a convention. Once I got there and popped open the hood I saw the white smoke blowing up from the engine and I knew at once that my car had just died on me. I will say that I have to pat myself on the back because I did not have a freak out about it or get mad. I just figured...oh well.
We are lucky that we are AAA plus members and was able to get the car towed back to our mechanic's shop for free. I knew that whatever was wrong with the car, it was going to be beyond our means to fix it. Plus, the thing is/was nothing but a POS period. The fan had stopped working so I didn't have heat all winter, the transmission was starting to make a hard pop when I would shift it into reverse, and the catalytic converter had gone out so I couldn't the stupid thing to pass inspection. Which cost me getting a ticket. Hey, my fault, so nothing to do about that. So to get this thing fixed would come to well over 3,000 to 4,000 dollars or more. So...Elizabeth and I have decided to put a bullet in the poor thing and put it out of our misery. Folks...never and I mean NEVER buy a Suzuki car. The thing is maybe worth 2,300 dollars in good condition. Trust me...you don't want to know how much I paid on that stupid thing over the last three years.
Why am I talking about car troubles on the wedding blog? Because...we are NOT and I repeat, NOT going to postpone our wedding by using the tax return money to fix my car or just get a junker so I can drive to work. I am lucky enough that I only work maybe three miles from my home so I will be taking the bus and riding a new bike that I got from my future mother and father-in-law. Eh...it will make my doctor happy because I need to get in better shape anyway. But no matter what, this wedding is going to happen. Elizabeth and I are not going to let anything stop this from happening. She has gotten her tax money in and my refund will be coming soon and we will have our money for the wedding. Is it going to be a big blow out of one? No...but we ARE going to have one.
I have had the honor to plan this thing with Elizabeth and go with her to the wedding shows and look at flowers and dresses and tuxes and eat cake samples(my favorite part by the way)to my hearts content. We are not going to throw it away just because my car decided to throw us a curve ball. And while I am on the subject of dresses, some people may ask why I have gone with Elizabeth to watch her try on dresses. Let me just say that in my first marriage I followed the rule of not seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding and I still ended up divorced. So hey, I figure that if I see Elizabeth in her dress before we get married my luck just might be reversed this time. Hey, it could happen.
I love this woman. My beautiful Star of the Night Sky. We ARE getting married this year. It WILL be in our church and not at the court house. I did that once and I never felt like I was married because of it. So this time I'm doing it right and marrying Elizabeth in front of our priest and God in Heaven. No car break down or other craziness is going to stop us. Besides, we have more cake tasting to do before November. Just joking. But when it gets right down to it, I'm marrying this wonderful woman. By God or Godzilla...we are getting married this year.
Rant over. Thank you and see you in the world of Bitstrips.
My car died this past Friday. And when I say it died...I MEAN IT DIED A BITTER SMOKING DEATH! It was almost beautiful in a silly way how white smoke started to blow out the tail pipe then from under the hood. It happened on the way to St. Louis when I was following Elizabeth to help her do a set up for a convention. Once I got there and popped open the hood I saw the white smoke blowing up from the engine and I knew at once that my car had just died on me. I will say that I have to pat myself on the back because I did not have a freak out about it or get mad. I just figured...oh well.
We are lucky that we are AAA plus members and was able to get the car towed back to our mechanic's shop for free. I knew that whatever was wrong with the car, it was going to be beyond our means to fix it. Plus, the thing is/was nothing but a POS period. The fan had stopped working so I didn't have heat all winter, the transmission was starting to make a hard pop when I would shift it into reverse, and the catalytic converter had gone out so I couldn't the stupid thing to pass inspection. Which cost me getting a ticket. Hey, my fault, so nothing to do about that. So to get this thing fixed would come to well over 3,000 to 4,000 dollars or more. So...Elizabeth and I have decided to put a bullet in the poor thing and put it out of our misery. Folks...never and I mean NEVER buy a Suzuki car. The thing is maybe worth 2,300 dollars in good condition. Trust me...you don't want to know how much I paid on that stupid thing over the last three years.
Why am I talking about car troubles on the wedding blog? Because...we are NOT and I repeat, NOT going to postpone our wedding by using the tax return money to fix my car or just get a junker so I can drive to work. I am lucky enough that I only work maybe three miles from my home so I will be taking the bus and riding a new bike that I got from my future mother and father-in-law. Eh...it will make my doctor happy because I need to get in better shape anyway. But no matter what, this wedding is going to happen. Elizabeth and I are not going to let anything stop this from happening. She has gotten her tax money in and my refund will be coming soon and we will have our money for the wedding. Is it going to be a big blow out of one? No...but we ARE going to have one.
I have had the honor to plan this thing with Elizabeth and go with her to the wedding shows and look at flowers and dresses and tuxes and eat cake samples(my favorite part by the way)to my hearts content. We are not going to throw it away just because my car decided to throw us a curve ball. And while I am on the subject of dresses, some people may ask why I have gone with Elizabeth to watch her try on dresses. Let me just say that in my first marriage I followed the rule of not seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding and I still ended up divorced. So hey, I figure that if I see Elizabeth in her dress before we get married my luck just might be reversed this time. Hey, it could happen.
I love this woman. My beautiful Star of the Night Sky. We ARE getting married this year. It WILL be in our church and not at the court house. I did that once and I never felt like I was married because of it. So this time I'm doing it right and marrying Elizabeth in front of our priest and God in Heaven. No car break down or other craziness is going to stop us. Besides, we have more cake tasting to do before November. Just joking. But when it gets right down to it, I'm marrying this wonderful woman. By God or Godzilla...we are getting married this year.
Rant over. Thank you and see you in the world of Bitstrips.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Weddingblitz
We've been blitzing wedding nonsense for several days, and I'm starting to recognize what my stepbrother Kurt told me about planning a wedding: It's like a part-time job.
In this case, though, it's a fun job, albeit one where you write a lot of checks instead of earning them. The blitz came about because we compiled our funds from the various places we've been saving, earning and otherwise acquiring cash for the wedding, and realized that once Jimmy's tax return comes in next week or thereabouts, the wedding will be fully funded.
All the money in the bank. Wedding paid for and it's all covered until the fittings. You know, as long as we stay on budget and nothing disastrous happens.
So naturally this was the weekend his car decided to crack its motorhead. A $2,000 repair, plus $600 for a catalytic converter and ominous rumblings from the transmission. Were the gremlins trying to stop us from getting married?
If so, they failed. Several conversations began and ended with, "No, we are NOT postponing the wedding a third time." And not just because of the nonrefundable deposits and our family members who've bought plane tickets, though those are definitely inspiring reasons.
It's not like we hadn't discussed the possibility of the car's demise before. Jimmy's car was a 2007 Suzuki Forenza. If you take nothing else away from this blog, I hope you will take our advice to never buy this car. Its blue-book value would be $2,300 if it was in perfect condition and everything worked. Now roll your eyes back on up to the second sentence of this paragraph, and realize that this is a car that depreciated almost its entire value in six years. My only defense is that he bought the thing before we were together, so it's not my fault.
Given the state of his car, we'd talked about him being unhorsed. And the weekend's carsaster (I just made that up) determined that instead of repairing his Suzuki, we would buy him a bus pass. Hopefully this is not a long-term solution, but he has the good fortune to have a job only three miles from home that is in a fixed location, whereas my job requires me to have constant access to a reliable vehicle to go anywhere. Sometimes I will be able to drive him to work; sometimes he'll be reliant on the buses and the lovely Raleigh bicycle my parents just gave him; most nights he'll need to bum a ride home from co-workers because the buses stop running at 11:30 p.m. and he gets off work at 2 a.m.
But the wedding would not be postponed again. He literally stomped his foot.
We determined the smartest thing to do would be to prepay for as much as possible. Anything that doesn't have to wait, we're doing now. We put down the deposit on my wedding gown and paid the balance on the reception hall. We paid off the boys' tuxedos and are meeting florists and bakers. I'm cruising the internet for any Schtuff we need that we can buy now: jewelry, shoes, LED candles, etc.
It's fun. If I close my eyes, I can pretend we're spending someone else's money. Oh hush, I'm just kidding. We planned for this, and one of the advantages of lower-income people having a loooong engagement is that we have a long time to save cash. We postponed when he was laid off and gave ourselves extra time to catch up, and now it's paying off.
This past weekend, I was a tad stressed, and my friends caught the worst of me at a convention I was doing. Part of it was the car, and trying to figure out if and how we could get Jimmy back on the road. Part of it was that I had an absolutely terrible week at work, am behind on a few projects and was feeling pulled in several different directions. I spent much of Sunday thinking about running away for a writer weekend just to reset my batteries (until I realized how much housework needs to be done at Donald-Smith-Gillentine Inc.).
But I realized I'd given the wrong impression when a friend posited that weddings shouldn't be allowed to cause so much stress.
I had to stop and think about that. Funny. The wedding is the one thing that isn't stressing me out.
The wedding blitz is fun. It's fun to try on overpriced silly dresses while on a Facebook chat with my sister and friends. It's fun to plan a big party with our nearest and dearest. It's fun to shop for this-that-and-the-other-thing, to look at lovely stuff and pick something we like, and Jimmy would say the cake testing is the most fun of all.
It's fun because our friends and family have a sense of humor.
It's fun because we realize what's important and what's not.
It's fun because we planned for it, saved and used our heads.
It's fun because we're doing it together.
And that's the most important part, I think. If I had to do it all by myself, it would become a joyless chore. I had to go to one wedding show alone, because both bridesmaids were sick and Jimmy had to work. And there was no fun to it. I collected my coupons, made my appointments and left. The fun comes in doing it together, in enjoying the planning as a hobby - or our part-time job, as Kurt would say. Jimmy wants to be a part of it, and we get to have fun doing it, and our friends crack us up, and our families are as excited as we are.
Work, writing careers, kidstress, budgets, touring, other obligations... all those things tend to pile on and cause stress in our lives. The wedding is fun. I have no doubt that something (many things) will go wrong and there will be stress and drama at some point, though my bridesmaids have pointy knitting needles and are under orders to stab drama before it breeds.
But for now, at least, it's all about fun. And cake.
Days to Go: 256
In this case, though, it's a fun job, albeit one where you write a lot of checks instead of earning them. The blitz came about because we compiled our funds from the various places we've been saving, earning and otherwise acquiring cash for the wedding, and realized that once Jimmy's tax return comes in next week or thereabouts, the wedding will be fully funded.
All the money in the bank. Wedding paid for and it's all covered until the fittings. You know, as long as we stay on budget and nothing disastrous happens.
So naturally this was the weekend his car decided to crack its motorhead. A $2,000 repair, plus $600 for a catalytic converter and ominous rumblings from the transmission. Were the gremlins trying to stop us from getting married?
If so, they failed. Several conversations began and ended with, "No, we are NOT postponing the wedding a third time." And not just because of the nonrefundable deposits and our family members who've bought plane tickets, though those are definitely inspiring reasons.
It's not like we hadn't discussed the possibility of the car's demise before. Jimmy's car was a 2007 Suzuki Forenza. If you take nothing else away from this blog, I hope you will take our advice to never buy this car. Its blue-book value would be $2,300 if it was in perfect condition and everything worked. Now roll your eyes back on up to the second sentence of this paragraph, and realize that this is a car that depreciated almost its entire value in six years. My only defense is that he bought the thing before we were together, so it's not my fault.
Given the state of his car, we'd talked about him being unhorsed. And the weekend's carsaster (I just made that up) determined that instead of repairing his Suzuki, we would buy him a bus pass. Hopefully this is not a long-term solution, but he has the good fortune to have a job only three miles from home that is in a fixed location, whereas my job requires me to have constant access to a reliable vehicle to go anywhere. Sometimes I will be able to drive him to work; sometimes he'll be reliant on the buses and the lovely Raleigh bicycle my parents just gave him; most nights he'll need to bum a ride home from co-workers because the buses stop running at 11:30 p.m. and he gets off work at 2 a.m.
But the wedding would not be postponed again. He literally stomped his foot.
We determined the smartest thing to do would be to prepay for as much as possible. Anything that doesn't have to wait, we're doing now. We put down the deposit on my wedding gown and paid the balance on the reception hall. We paid off the boys' tuxedos and are meeting florists and bakers. I'm cruising the internet for any Schtuff we need that we can buy now: jewelry, shoes, LED candles, etc.
It's fun. If I close my eyes, I can pretend we're spending someone else's money. Oh hush, I'm just kidding. We planned for this, and one of the advantages of lower-income people having a loooong engagement is that we have a long time to save cash. We postponed when he was laid off and gave ourselves extra time to catch up, and now it's paying off.
This past weekend, I was a tad stressed, and my friends caught the worst of me at a convention I was doing. Part of it was the car, and trying to figure out if and how we could get Jimmy back on the road. Part of it was that I had an absolutely terrible week at work, am behind on a few projects and was feeling pulled in several different directions. I spent much of Sunday thinking about running away for a writer weekend just to reset my batteries (until I realized how much housework needs to be done at Donald-Smith-Gillentine Inc.).
But I realized I'd given the wrong impression when a friend posited that weddings shouldn't be allowed to cause so much stress.
I had to stop and think about that. Funny. The wedding is the one thing that isn't stressing me out.
The wedding blitz is fun. It's fun to try on overpriced silly dresses while on a Facebook chat with my sister and friends. It's fun to plan a big party with our nearest and dearest. It's fun to shop for this-that-and-the-other-thing, to look at lovely stuff and pick something we like, and Jimmy would say the cake testing is the most fun of all.
It's fun because our friends and family have a sense of humor.
It's fun because we realize what's important and what's not.
It's fun because we planned for it, saved and used our heads.
It's fun because we're doing it together.
And that's the most important part, I think. If I had to do it all by myself, it would become a joyless chore. I had to go to one wedding show alone, because both bridesmaids were sick and Jimmy had to work. And there was no fun to it. I collected my coupons, made my appointments and left. The fun comes in doing it together, in enjoying the planning as a hobby - or our part-time job, as Kurt would say. Jimmy wants to be a part of it, and we get to have fun doing it, and our friends crack us up, and our families are as excited as we are.
Work, writing careers, kidstress, budgets, touring, other obligations... all those things tend to pile on and cause stress in our lives. The wedding is fun. I have no doubt that something (many things) will go wrong and there will be stress and drama at some point, though my bridesmaids have pointy knitting needles and are under orders to stab drama before it breeds.
But for now, at least, it's all about fun. And cake.
Days to Go: 256
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